Sunday, December 30, 2012

The Friday Society

Rating: Swearing and kissing, I guess, but only in minor quantities.
4 Lemons- Lemon ice
Summary: In an alternate steampunk past, three girls work as assistants to powerful London society men. Mainly they're ignored, seen as ornaments rather then thinking, you know, people. But, as these things often happen, they keep running into each other, as well as the dead bodies in a string of connected murders. There's (and yes, I'm doing the listing format a lot now. It's useful when describing several characters.) :
-Cora, who works for Lord White who when he's not working in parliament is a inventor of deranged weapons, a former flower seller with a nasty temper,
-Nellie the flirty magicians assistant who can pick any lock and scale any building,
-And finally Michiko an immigrant from Japan who has no choice but to work for her horrible boss in a job because it's the only way she'll be allowed to fight.
So it's up to these intrepid three to save the day, have some fun, and kick some serious-
Review: Okay, I'll admit. I'm biased. It's a steampunk book! So if you're not in the mood for gadgets, goggles, and gizmos, though I know almost no one who isn't, you might like this book slightly less. The characters are varied and each of the girls has a distinctly different personality rather then the sadly prominent cookie-cutter generic brand to satisfy all, which ends up leaving everyone feeling 'meh'. Also, it's funny so there's that too. Once again, unfortunately, my favorite part was something that will ruin the book if I say it... so... twiddling our thumbs here. Okay, it was kind of annoying how all of them were constantly described as being pretty. Yes, that probably got you places in London society, yes, it's a fantasy, yes, I'm all for a positive body image, yes it makes sense in Nellies case, but I'd like more books where the heroine either a) just, you know, isn't described as either ugly or pretty and I bring up the ugly thing because dear Lord (Note: Doesn't happen in this book, another positive thing) if I read b) the hero tell her she's ever so pretty and it turns out she's secretly the most beautiful thing in the world ever.
Okay. Off topic. This is a good book, if with minor faults and I suggest trying it.

Tuesday, December 25, 2012


Rating: Swearing
3.5 – Um... Like melted lemon ice mixed with Lemonada? That doesn't really sound good, but it is in book form.
Summary: In the far off future Service Bringers live in ELs, or Endless Libraries, where they roam without purpose and read the banned books that line the shelves. The story follows four teenagers (and someone else) and their quest to escape.
Lilly, who wants to feel like a real person and not just some mindless slave.
Sam, who is probably insane (and without a doubt Lemon's favorite character) and is desperate to escape, no matter what.
Dolores, the youngest kid in the group, remembering what happened as an old woman on her deathbed.
And finally Virginia, who is the only one with memories about the world outside the library and who possibly knows more then she's writing down.
This story is interestingly told through interviews, journal entries, and letters from the future.
Review: This story is only about 10,000 words, putting it in the short story category, but it's one heck of a ride. Alright, sadly one of my biggest enjoyments out of this was something I can't talk about (“Spoilers, darling”) but the story is good without that. While I admit my favorite character, as mentioned earlier, is Sam there are some other good ones in there. And I might be biased to crazy people who scream at books... not that I'm one of those people or anything. It has some great moments of comedy and some actual drama to, sometimes within a hundred words of each other. This books small faults stem mainly from hints, namely that infuriating feeling where you're trying to figure out a puzzle and two of the corner pieces are missing. The set up is great, the middle lags a bit, and the ending requires some though and tracing back the clues. Another thing is that some things aren't explained too much, but they're a minor part of the plot so it doesn't affect the overall story. All in all, a great way to pass winter break as you try to figure out what's outside the library.

We're Not Dead!

Okay, this isn't a review, it's sort of a prequel thing. Lots has happened since we last updated, not the least of which was Lemon switching schools and doing Nanowrimo (and failing at doing so). A review will be up shortly, but we want to take this chance to apologize to anyone who emailed us. We haven't checked it in forever and will soon be doing the Great Unearthing. So please don't be mad!

Sunday, July 8, 2012


Rating: Swearing, foreplay, underage drinking
4 lemons- Lemon ice
Summary: Adam wants to live a normal life, but being the lead guitarist for Jamieson gets in the way of that. When an extended break comes up in the schedule, he doesn't hesitate to go to a photography camp, even though it requires him lying about who he is.
Marti's father is a hard-living rock star who wasn't able to take care of her, leading her to live with her grandmother. She hates pretty much all musicians and refuses to let herself play piano because it reminds her of him. When she meets Adam at camp, sparks fly. However, when she finds out his secret she's angry. Furious, in fact. But when something happens that turns he life around completely, she might need Adam more then she suspects.
Review: This book's strongest points were when it came to the main characters. Even the actions that weren't exactly the smartest made sense from the point of view. Marti grew and changed, though one of the few annoying parts of the book was how she hated rock stars (mainly her father) like the plague and, because of that, most of the romantic tension is how much she believes all rockers suck and refuses to believe Adam is an exception. Another minor annoyance was the oldest brother in the band and how he continued to not have a heart. But he's one of the main villain's, so what can you do? It was fun to see the characters from the previous book and the ending was truly happy as well as unexpected. I laughed, I felt bad for the characters and I didn't see plot twists coming from a mile away. This series is definitely on my list of ones to stalk for new releases.

Monday, April 9, 2012

Rock and a Hard Place

Rating: Swearing, drugs (no drug use)

4 Lemons- Lemon ice

Summary: Libby's life is one horrible accident after another. First her mother and sister die. Then her depressive dad abandons her to his sister-in-law, who refuses for her to have contact with her peers. She's pretty much fine living as a recluse (or at least tells herself she's fine) whose closest sorta-friend is the guidance counselor at her school, until one day she meets Peter. All she knows is that he's in a band, lives on a bus for some reason and is the sanest-slash-cutest thing in her life. What she doesn't know is that he's in the famous boy band Jamieson and is on tour with his brothers and parents. Both of them use the other as an anchor. However, forces (such as Libby's crazy aunt and Peter's controlling brother) end up separating the two. Worse yet Libby loses her aunt too and has to move again, meaning that Peter and her missing father are stripped of any possibility of finding her.

Review: This book was good in how it made me care about the characters. Everyone in the book was rounded out, making up for the sometimes all-out evilness of the villains (though I can attest that some people are completely evil). It also accepted the real world, not what I call Romance Novel Real Life. This is where the book sort've just gives up and screams “Okay! We've got a happily ever after no matter the logical fallacies!” That was pretty much my only fear of the book (second to 'like that disney movie?', which it wasn't). The side characters were compelling and Libby really grows through the story, going from a introvert girl who doesn't question her aunts rules and dreams of being whisked away to someone who realizes she can't just rely on others to support her. Both the main characters make choices that leave the audience going “why?”, but they're in love so they're liable to do stupid stuff.

Guest Post by Dalya Moon!

Give Your Child A Free Kindle Book Day

Numerous Free Kindle Books From Established

Children's & YA Authors

Plus Bonus E-Books in Multiple Formats!

April 19, 2012

Visit the Amazon Listmania list at for another way to browse the Kindle Books.

Date: April 19 Only

The Event: Fill up your Kindle and get your children reading this summer with these 15 books, free on Kindle only on April 19 during the Give Your Child A Free Kindle Book (or 15 of Them!) Promotion. The list includes picture books, middle grade novels, and young adult books spanning a range of topics from sports, to paranormal, to historical, to educational. Selected books include the Florida Historical Society's Best Children's book of its year, books that have been recommended in Best Books for Young Teen Readers Grades 7-10 and in an edition of Children's Book of the Year compiled by the Child Study Children's Book Committee in New York City, and a finalist in the Valley Forge Romance Writers Sheila contest and in the Florida Romance Writers Golden Palm contest.

We also have two bonus books which will be free on that day and can be downloaded in the e-book format of your choice.

The authors in the promotion have been published by houses such as Scholastic, Dell, HarperCollins, Simon Pulse, Avon, E.P. Dutton, Millbrook, Lerner, and St. Martin's Minotaur, and have written for Broadway, to name a few of their accomplishments. Don't miss this one-day exclusive offer to give your child an e-book (or many e-books!) Adult readers will find much to enjoy on this list also.

The Books: (Bloggers, please feel free to use your Amazon affiliate links)

Captain Morgana Mason by Dorothy Francis - Gramp falls ill. Morgana and her younger brother, Seth take charge of the family's sponging business, using their small boat to hook sponges from the sea and sell them. Housekeeper, Goldie, adds humor and wisdom to the tale. You'll root for Morgana as she seeks her strengths and grapples with the adult world. The Florida Historical Society voted this book as the best Children's book of its year.

Dark Before Dawn by Stacy Juba - When teen psychic Dawn Christian gets involved with a fortuneteller mentor and two girls who share her mysterious talents, she finally belongs after years of being a misfit. When she learns her new friends may be tied to freak “accidents” in town, Dawn has an important choice to make – continue developing the talent that makes her special or challenge the only people who have ever accepted her.

Face-Off by Stacy Juba: Brad’s twin brother T.J. has gotten himself out of the fancy prep school his father picked for him and into the public high school Brad attends. The whole school is rooting for a big double-strength win…not knowing that their twin hockey stars are heating up the ice for a winner takes all face-off. Included in the reference guide Best Books for Young Teen Readers Grades 7-10 and recommended by the Hockey Hall of Fame Junior Education Program.
ASIN: B005LQ99F0

Einstein The Lazy Kitty by Renae Rae - This 30-page story is inspired by Renae Rae's real-life lazy kitty. Einstein The Lazy Kitty, combines rhythmic writing and colorful illustrations to make this a short, fun book for all ages but it was designed with your toddler and early reader in mind.

Teddy Bear Town Children's E-Book Bundle (Three Complete Picture Books) by Stacy Juba - Immerse your child in the gentle world of teddy bears with three picture books in one download. Each of these bedtime stories is fully illustrated with simple illustrations of teddy bear families. Includes The Flag Keeper, Victoria Rose and the Big Bad Noise, and Sticker Shoes. The Midwest Book Review on The Flag Keeper: "Excellent educational book filled with information all American children should know."

The Worldwide Dessert Contest: Enhanced Multimedia Edition by Dan Elish - Pancakes that turn into trampolines, attacking caramel apples, roller-skating pies, are all a part of The Worldwide Dessert Contest: Enhanced Multimedia Edition by Dan Elish, a lip-smacking middle grade fantasy with an original musical score by a Broadway veteran embedded alongside the text! After losing to a cheat for the past eleven years, will chef Applefeller finally manage to nab the prize?

Savage Cinderella by PJ Sharon - Eighteen-year-old Brinn Hathaway has survived on her own in the Northwest High Country of Georgia since she was left for dead in a shallow grave by the man who kidnapped her as a child. When a young nature photographer, Justin Spencer, catches the wild girl on film and the two form a tentative friendship, Brinn must decide if coming out of hiding is worth the hope-and the danger-that may await her.

Ashlyn's Radio by Wilson Doherty (Norah Wilson and Heather Doherty) - When circumstances force 17-y-o Ashlyn Caverhill to move to her grandma's in Maine, she's PO'd. Although it boasts the hot Caden Williams, she thinks Prescott Junction is the deadest place ever. She may be right. Not only does a ghost train roll through at night, but the Caverhill-cursed radio Ashlyn finds foretells that she'll board it! With Caden's help, she must find a way to escape her fate.
ASIN: B0056O2D2S

Dark Ascension: A Demon Anthology by N.R. Wick - Keep a flashlight handy. This collection of short stories for young adults is sure to draw out whatever's skulking in the shadows. From supernatural entities, to crazed monsters, to disturbing discoveries, evil is lurking 'round every corner. Delve into the dark recesses of this creepy book… if you dare.

Practice Cake by Dalya Moon - There's one thing Maddie Bird (18) finds more tempting than red velvet cake: her coworker, Drew. All it takes is one of his sly winks or a playful hip-check by the cooler, and she's incinerating the cookies. Her boyfriend would not approve. When a reality TV crew descends upon the bakery, her simple summer job gets even more complicated.

Away from Whipplethorn by A.W. Hartoin - Tiny fairies. Huge adventure. Matilda is about to get what she’s always wanted, and it’s a bad thing. Being a babysitter isn’t much of a dream, but Matilda is anything but average. She’s half a centimeter tall, invisible to the human eye, and hearing-impaired. In her life, adventures are in short supply, but there is a emergency list for her first job. The only problem; humans aren’t on the list.
Grammar Candy by Katrina Streza - Have you ever wondered what exactly an adjective was? Drawn a blank when your child asked for help with English grammar homework? In Grammar Candy, the second book by educator Katrina Streza, Danny and Sam are back for another candy-filled learning adventure. This time, they'll turn a grammar lesson into some sweet fun when they visit Mr. Candor's Candy Shop and learn about nouns, pronouns, adjectives, verbs and more. For candy-loving kids in grades 1-3 (and their parents too)!
ASIN: B00759NK6U

Doctor: Discover Series Picture Book for Kids by Xist Publishing
Who likes going to the doctor? Who wants their child to grow up to be a doctor?
Whether you're looking to alleviate anxiety or plant the suggestion early, DOCTOR features 25 full-color photos of doctors, nurses and medical equipment.Like other titles in the Kindle Kids Library from Xist Publishing, DOCTOR has been formatted to take advantage of the Kindle, Kindle Fire and Kindle apps for phones, tablets and computers.

Time to Get Ready, Bunny! by Brenda Ponnay - It's time to get ready, Bunny! Bunny? BUNNY? In this charming little book, author/illustrator Brenda Ponnay has artfully depicted the morning routine of so many families. Whether your little one would rather stay in bed, play with toys, or try on every outfit in the closet, this book is sure to resonate with parents.

Don't miss the free bonus books, compatible with many types of e-readers!
The Pea Soup Poisonings by Nancy Means Wright - To get into her brother's Spy Club, Zoe must walk a high narrow beam over rusted farm machinery and then discover who poisoned Granny Fairweather's pea soup. She has 5 days to find the culprit. Can she do it? Winner of an Agatha award for Best Children’s/Young Adult Novel.

The Younger Days by Mike Hays - In the beginning, Boy Smyth has a dull Missouri farm life and a burning desire to be an outlaw like his hero, Cole Younger. In the end, Boy Smyth has five dead bodies and two burning buildings at his farm and the most feared man in the United States crying outside his front gate. And that desire for the outlaw life? It's purged completely from his system.

Sunday, April 8, 2012


Three lemons: Lemonada

Rating: Swearing, some violence

Synopsis: Cicely has been in love with her best friend Ander for what seems like forever. What she doesn't know is that Ander's a werewolf, who likes her back but can't actually express his feelings without the risk of accidentally turning into a wolf. She also doesn't know that she's the last remaining descendant of a witch who cursed vampires with mortality, which they want taken away. The spell can only be removed if she is killed in a special ritual. However, the vampire who's sent to rescue her is the still-heart-broken guy who was her ancestor's old beau. He's decided to break her heart before breaking her body. So, after a failed first date with Ander (he never showed up and may have accidentally put her mom in the hospital) in comes Luke. Handsome, smart and knows lines from Romeo and Juliet. He's literally perfect-guy incarnate. He also happens to be stalking her. So, as halloween approaches, Cicely's going to have to face Hunters, vamps and even some growling wolves, not to mention two guys who like her who are in a constant state of arguing.

Review: This book was good in how it tackled the whole preexisting-monster thing. It's not Twilight 2.0 and it doesn't make vampires and werewolves hate each other (where did that even come from, Underworld?). The male leads have reasons to dislike the romantic rival. When it does introduce new concepts to the classic myths, it does it with more delicacy then a sparkly vampire. You saw the story from multiple points of view, instead of just one person, which really helped move the story forward. The side characters were just as interesting as the mains, not just resorting to stereotypes. Also, it mentions a blood bar (where the waitresses are the drinks) and that might have been my favorite part of the book. It might be a little fast-paced during the end but it promises some interesting twists and turns that you won't see coming.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Stirring up Trouble.

By Juli Alexander

Three Lemons- Lemonada

Rating: Only kissing

Synopsis: Zoe, a confused teenage witch, falls for her best friend's ex, putting their friendship in dangerous territory. But Zoe is intent on saving their friendship, all while trying to find a replacment for toad slime, though nothing is working. Then her friend's ex, Jake, and her go to the movies, where they end up kissing. Until her friend and ex-girlfriend of Jake, Anya, sees them, that is. Anya tells her she can't have him, though they have broken up. Then it gets even worse, Jake's mom is dating her dad!

Jake and Zoe fall for each other, but plan to keep it a secret. However, Zoe's dad finds out and gets super mad. Halloween swings around and Jake decides to throw a halloween party, but Jake doesn't know she's a witch and that on halloween her powers are out of control. What's a witch to do? Then her hot, magical guy friend shows up to spend the week with her, just in time for the party. Crazy things happen at the party and the consequences are almost unbearable.

Review: I liked the book, though some of the characters seemed a little one-note, such as Anya, who sometimes appeared to have no other personality other than boy-crazy and rude (but hey, I know girls like that). Jake as well seemed little like just a pretty face. Though I did think the book was cute, as well as simple enough that you can use it as a quick read, without having to wrap your mind around five different plot-lines. I would recommend it for both younger and older kids. One of my favorite parts of the book was where Anya sees Jake and Zoe kissing and flips out. I also liked Jake's reaction to how good-looking Milo was. There were a few parts that could have used a little work, but it was still a great book. I will hope to read the second.

Lemon On: Realistic fiction

(Note: This is the beginning of a series of blogs where Nerd and I talk about random book trends feel free to skip)

escapism |iˈskāpˌizəm|


the tendency to seek distraction and relief from unpleasant realities, esp. by seeking entertainment or engaging in fantasy.

There are many teen books. More then half of these are fantasies and it's pretty obvious why. While teen-hood itself is only a mildly unpleasant reality, from the inside it's the emotionally manipulative torture you must face before college. The reason for this post is actually pretty stupid, but it made me start thinking about trends in books and other stuff that will come up later. The is that while I was reading Dream Chaser, I realized it was the first realistic book I had read in like two months. I realized that while wondering why no one was flying or rising from the dead by the second chapter. The question is, why the loss of realistic-fiction for teens? At this point it seems to be coming back, riding with using topics that are “taboo” such as eating disorders, suicide and depression (another trend I like). Hopefully it's here to stay, joining fantasy-romance-comedy and post-apocalyptic series as genres I'll read any day. More on the post-apocalyptic stuff later.

Dream Chaser

Rating: Underage drinking, making out, swearing
Four lemons: Lemon ice.
Summary: After a cheerleading accident (a fall from about twenty feet. Yikes!) Willow is terrified, no, petrified of heights. Unable to do the simplest of tricks, she quits the team. This motion is met with a ‘heck no!’ by pretty much all the school. Willow was the daredevil who did the biggest tricks that won them all the competitions that brought money to the school. The only people who seem at all pleased with her quitting is her old dance teacher, Miss Ginny, and her music teacher. Both want her to try out for a musical, Dream Chaser. Eager for a way to get an official excuse for quitting cheer (and maybe, just maybe, some new friends) Willow tries out. It turns out to be a steeper price then expected. Especially since instead of getting the chorus role she was looking for, she gets the female lead. Which means on top of dancing practice (of which there is much) she faces singing lessons and, worse yet, has to act in love with her former best friend. Former should be exaggerated, as often once you accidentally kiss them, the friendship thing often goes down the toilet….
Review: When I say you’re getting your money’s worth on this book, I’m right on two counts (other then generally always-rightness). Not only is it just a plainly good book, it’s long enough to keep your interest. One of the good things is how at the beginning of the book, never having read a description, I thought it was a book about cheerleading and didn’t care. I’m not exactly the biggest sports fan, which goes over into cheerleading (mainly due to jealousy that I can’t do the cool tricks). Then the musical part hit and I ended up reading the book under the dinner table. So yeah.A nice bonus is if you live/have lived in Madison WI it’s sorta awesome seeing high school names and places you’ve gone. Also, Tyson is awesome.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Ashlyn's Radio

5 Lemons- Best Meringue Pie You Ever Had.
Rating- Making out, talk of sex, some swearing and scariness! (Ahhh!)
Summary: In the stupid small town of Prescott Junction, Ashlyn Caverhill is to spend her last year of high school with her grandmother. She has to abandon Toronto, where she’s lived all her life and her friends. All because her mom’s a wacko. Prescott Junction is starting out to be really boring. The train doesn’t run through anymore. But if that’s true, why do you hear it at night? No one knows because in Prescott Junction, people stay in bed. There’s also that song. The song that will stick in your head for like three hours after reading the book.Also, a cute guy who provides instant love interest (just add heroine). Also there is Rachel, who is goth without having a secret wisdom.
Review: I don’t like scary books that much. It stems from me being a wimp. I liked this book though. And not because it skimmed out on the scary stuff. Trust me, I was sorta terrified when I stopped reading half-way through (...because it was 9:30, pitch black in my room and a thunder storm started the moment I turned my iPod touch off). I’m not sure if there’s anything that count as out-right “sexual content”, mainly just talk of wanting to have sex. Ashlyn didn’t come off as whiny, which sometimes happens when there’s a girl whose moved away from home (As someone who has moved several times in their life-span I can easily state that it’s not the end of the world). The characters were good and I wanted to know the answers to mysteries that draw themselves to Prescott Junction like moths to a light. A nice book for when you’re at home sick with a cold.

Saturday, March 10, 2012

Freaks of Greenfield High

The Freaks Of Greenfield High

By: Maree Anderson

Five Lemons-Best meringue pie you’ve ever had

Rating: Kissing, swearing, drugs, fighting, and talk about sex

Synopsis: Jay, a teenage cyborg on the run from the ‘bad people’, ends up hiding in Snapperton, and meets Tyler, an artistic music loving boy. Tyler and Jay quickly become friends, though without the unintentional help from Shawn, a cheating football brain, they wouldn’t have become so close. Tyler’s sister, Caro, also befriends Jay. After a little while Jay and Tyler fall in love, eventually though Jay has to tell Tyler and Caro about her being cyborg, Caro gets very excited, and Tyler gets really offended for some reason. (God, and I thought I was sensitive.) After a little while the ‘bad people’ track down Jay, will she make it out alive? Or as alive a cyborg can be.

Review: I loved this book! Definitely one of my favorites, I thought all of the characters were awesome, though Jay, of course, was my favorite. My favorite part was when Jay kicked Shawn’s a**, and threw him in a dumpster(Note from Lemon: This is true, she mentioned it at least 5 times during lunch period.), I also thought it was funny the way Jay studied people like textbooks. But one of the things that did bother me was Tyler’s reaction to Jay being a cyborg, all he did was whine about how she should be human, he even slapped her! I personally, would have been thrilled, I mean a cyborg for a friend, that would be awesome. I also found it interesting that Caro’s best friend, Vanessa, was a drug dealer, and her ex-boyfriend, Shawn, was on steroids when they were dating and didn’t tell her. I did like Caro very much, she had a strong personality and is all about fashion. Shawn, Caro’s ex, however I did not like very much, though he did add to the story by hitting on Jay and getting hit by Jay. The only left to say is that even if you’re a cyborg, in a place as complicated as high school, knowing everything just isn’t enough.

Friday, March 9, 2012

The Summoning

4 Lemons- Lemon Ice
Rating: Swearing and mild violence
Summary: Chthonic City is being tormented by demons. It almost makes sense, Chthonic meaning underworld. To fight back against the demons a man (just call him the Guardian) assembles a unit of teens called Gatekeepers. There are groups like this all over the world, but this is the youngest yet. Here’s the team:
Janna: Janna sees disguised demons on the street, at the mall and in math class. When she started telling people what she saw she was put in a mental hospital and put on medication that made it worse. Once released at school she’s avoided and called Crazy Janna Pelky. Because of this she prefers to hide from people in her big black coat. However, killing demons is a drug to her and she’s addicted.
Claire: Claire is a college student who sees the demons in her dreams. Believing they stand for things like pollution and war, she protests often, not having time for much of a social life. In some ways she’s the opposite of Janna. Up top she’s confident and self-assured and below she’s well, terrified.
Galen: Galen (whose name I had to check more times to spell then Chthonic) is mysterious and knows about the demons from thing he draws and writes while he sleeps. His eyes are distractingly blue and the demons have taken a fascination with him for some reason...
Darren: Darren sees visions of demons that come randomly and leave him temporarily catatonic. He draws them and gets them as tattoos, until eventually they come and go of their own accord. He has the least natural talent, but can kick butt second only to Janna.
Review: This book was good. Good, and scared the kids in my class when I told them I was I was reading a book called The Summoning and that it was about demons. If you’ve ever had half the class think you’re goth you’ll understand how awesome that is. Not that is an actual goth-type book, of course. Also, Janna Pelky is awesome and a character type (shy and bad-a**) that I hope to see more of. None of the fighting scenes were Hunger Games level description, which my weak stomach is thankful for. The book might have not made my favorites list, but I’ll be looking for the rest of the series.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

First review by Nerd! Hot Lunch.

Three Lemons - Lemonada

By: Alex Bradley
Rating: No swearing, no violence, no sexual stuff
Synopsis: Molly, a rude, selfish, sophomore, gets into a food fight with Cassie, an annoyingly perky blonde, which causes the lunch lady, Mrs. Zetz, to retire. And instead of getting detention they have to do lunch duty, the horror! But even worse the principal, Dr. John, insists on having the the students that order hot lunch fill out a ballot asking, whose food was better, Mrs. Zetz’s or Molly and Cassie’s? Their food ends up getting destroyed each time, causing them to have to work in the kitchen even longer. Then a total geek, Clyde volunteers to help cook. That would be great, except for the fact he can’t cook. Clyde likes Molly but sadly, she turns him down in a way I’d call burning. Meanwhile, Molly is drooling over Devon, an eye-candy actor with a hot butt. There’s also another guy she actually ends up with, so it’s kind of like a midsummers night dream, except all the girl parts were given to one chick. Just as Molly and Cassie start to enjoy working in the kitchen, Mrs. Zetz returns!

My Review: I enjoyed this book, though I think that some of the characters needed a little work. Molly started out sorta b*tchy . Ex: she hates Cassie at first site because she’s “normal” (what does that even mean?). Later on she grew on me as her narrating became less biased and she wasn’t as rude. Another thing that puzzled me was the punishment, though the payoff was awesome. Why didn’t they do the grunt work like lifting boxes and instead had to be head cooks whose food was compared to someone who had experience cooking? The book had some plot twists, which I’m not saying because, well, spoilers (yes, I’m a Doctor Who nerd). The book was also well written and all in all, a good read.

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Entanglements By P.R. Mason

Yeah, this book's by the same author as the last.


By P.R Mason

Five Lemons –The best meringue pie you ever had!

Rating: Has making out and swearing, but no graphic violence.

Synopsis: Kizzy Taylor returns to school after leaving for about a month due to reasons of her dad attempting to kill her and succeeding in killing her brother, Adam. She has holes in her memory and the memories she sort of remembers don't make sense. She ends up meeting a hot guy named Rom who talks like he's from an old movie and has a weird accent (sorta Italian, sorta not) who both weirds her out and makes her want to jump his bones. That might just be the fact that he's hot though. Going spelunking with her friends in an old hospital she accidentally opens a portal to another dimension, losing her friend and her stepsister. She's going to have to deal with ghouls, vampires (not the cute sparkly kind), and a boyfriend who doesn't say everything he knows to get them back.

My review: Okay, you probably guessed that I liked this book already and you're right. Like the other book, this one was funny (The Baronet of Douche? Hilarious!), obviously knew what it was talking about, and had scenes that would make you blush as you read. Kizzy wasn't flawless, far from it, and didn't come off as annoyingly stupid. When reading it I didn't go 'If I was her I would blankety blank, why'd ya do that?' Though not my new favorite book (I've still got my copy of Good Omens) it definitely made the list. I also blame this author for writing stoic and bad-boy characters well enough that I don't hate the tropes anymore. They are actual characters first, things girls like in a guy second. I used to like to pretend to have conversations with character types (don't ask, I was a weird lemon who had to much free time and didn't yet have a computer of my own). Mostly it would be like, 'oh, hello granola child, do you want soy milk or green tea?’ Somehow the stoic guys and bad-boys would end up slapped. In Entanglements and The Banshee and The Linebacker, the love interests crack jokes, smile, express weaknesses that make sense. And I think that might be why these books are as good as chocolate. When you're reading a book that revolves around a romance, you want a writer who can write for both genders.

The Banshee and the Linebacker by P.R. Mason

There were many things I liked about the book, probably starting with the source material (who doesn't love death premonitions?). And the book definitely respects its source by not turning it into what the author needed it to be. The characters were well-rounded and I found myself laughing out loud while reading it (sure I was in study hall and everyone stared at me, but still).